ON BREEDING

Today, open any app, Grinder or Scruff, and find “bb only” to “raw” fucking the common shorthands for solely wanting “bareback” or condomless anal sex. You’ll also find the word “breeding” as a euphemism for “taking a load.” Along side this, the alt-twitter hashtag, is ripe with invitations for sex- sans condoms. You might be giving or receiving, but in either situation- the cum is getting buried deep.

To be certain, this conversation about raw sex isn’t a value judgment. But rather a question of what, if anything, raw sex empower for gay men who seek it.

Does raw sex lead to more intimacy? Is it a reclamation of a bygone pre-HIV/AIDs era? Maybe it’s a provocative fuck you to hetero-normativity? This there agency to call oneself a cum dump? Perhaps it isn’t that deep and just about the pleasure of fucking?

Whatever the angle, public health has latched on to destigmatize raw sex, which is a radical approach from the years of shaming emplyed into the mid 2000s. With “U=U” campaigns (undetectable equals untransmittable) in recent years spreading awareness that someone living with HIV who has an undetectable viral load — thanks to effective treatment and regular check-ups — cannot pass on the virus and the use of PREP- Raw sex seem back and here to stay. I am not a public health educator; I write about gay culture- often about fucking. But, I would be remiss in not adding “ the ultimate protection against HIV and STIs combines PrEP, condoms, and regular testing. For HIV-positive men, remaining undetectable, using condoms, and routine screening for STIs are recommended.” ()

I asked some gay men why they chose raw sex- and here is what I learned.

“I don’t want to be told what to do or how to live. I’m on PREP. If women have “my body, choice” so do I.”

“I like how it feels. Cum in my hole just feels better. I’m not afraid of STIs or HIV.”

“I’m only raw with my primary partners. We are fluid bonded. Otherwise it is wrapped.”

“I got HIV having “safe sex”. Condoms aren’t perfect. Now that I am undetectable I look back on all those years I wasted having “safe” sex. Fuck it.”

“Feels Good. It’s 2023, not 1980.”

“I like my seed in as many guys as possible. I’m upfront with my status (undetectable) and love to fill holes.”

One a very unscientific Twitter survey, 87% of gay men reported they go raw.

Wherever you land on raw sex- we are lucky to live in a culture where there are options. PREP (Truvada & Descovy for HIV, or DOXY for Bacterial STIs, MPox Vaccine, Gardasil) that are largely free, or public health supported int he United States. It’s liberating to have choices, but it’s up to everyone to find the best choice that works for them. That the power of autonomy.